June 25th, 2020

FEAR and the Entrepreneur

Nobody tells you these things. It’s often never discussed. It’s a sign of weakness to some. But it’s killing us. Breaking us down, from our relationships to our business. FEAR.  

Some of the most “successful” top performers experience fear. Magazines, podcasts, and television depict them as “fearless” “confident” and “measured”. The truth of the matter is that every one of us experiences fear in some form.  

As an entrepreneur, fear is a daily occurrence. Ever heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”, it’s a load of crap in most cases because covering up fear only makes it grow. It’s what leads us to a mid-life crisis, a complete mental breakdown.

​Feeling like you’re always behind and that you just need to reply to one more email, scramble to schedule that “life-changing” meeting, or work for one more hour even though it’s already 2 am is killing you whether you can see it now or not. You don’t want to wait to find out.
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The idea of pushing harder and faster for the “hustle” is why we are eating unhealthy and gaining or losing weight, having more migraines, drinking more, feeling drained when we wake up, not feeling like we want to get out of bed because we know we have a mountain to climb before noon even hits. That feeling of constant distraction when we’re with our loved ones and never feeling present are the things we’re missing out on. We want to feel present, it’s why we married our significant other, why we had kids, built a new house to entertain guests, and decided to start a business to reap the rewards of freedom that seems more like a prison than anything else.

In the tale of Rumpelstiltskin, wishes were granted to those with grand dreams but they always came with a price. If you wished to be rich, you sacrificed your happiness. Well in some cases the same is true with entrepreneurship. We have to decide not what we WANT out of life but what pain are willing to live with for the lifestyle we chose. Sure we can set goals for ourselves that read something like “I want to work for myself to have the freedom to spend time with my family” but the issue is what pain are you going to endure to get there or sustain as a lifestyle? There will be long hours, countless sleepless nights, and stress levels affecting your relationships. Or, you could work for someone else. Helping them achieve their dreams. Your stress is now controlled between their workable hours. If only it was that simple as an entrepreneur. Set workable hours. Workable goals. For all the millennial's out there I get it, WE WANT IT NOW. Plain and simple. We push and push and push till we either burnout and give up or worse we succeed but lose everything else in our lives that we care about. Sorry to sound so grim but the point I want to get across is that entrepreneurship is a tough sea to navigate alone.

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 WE WANT IT NOW.

​I’m sure you are wondering when I was going to start mentioning solutions to these problems we all face. Well there isn’t a clear cut solution, just things to try that have been proven to be helpful in steering your entrepreneurial ship and keeping it afloat.

The first solution, write down your end-goal and follow that up with what sort of pain will I endure along the way. Be clear about the hours, the startup cash, working a survival job, constant rejection, being disciplined enough to be your own boss, are you moving from steak dinners to Ramen for a period of time, and can you honestly handle that. Start weighing your pros and cons and really contemplate what you are willing to give up. An example being, you have a discussion with your spouse about dedicating X hours a night for X amount of weeks/months to launch a particular portion of the business, the key is communication. Another example being, stop ordering take out or delivery because you need to cut expenses and instead get used to simple food preparation. If it’s canceling an evening or morning activity to make time for your startup to make it work for you just make sure you don’t forget about the people you care about. If you start making a list and realize you’re questioning your family, friends, and the people in your life that helped make you the person you are today then you may need to find another avenue for your entrepreneurial ship to set sail into. For example, if you end up finding that you are constantly breaking plans with friends and family just to make that “last” update to your website or finish a proposal that is a problem. Just as if you were working for someone else during those “workable” hours you need to create clearly defined work time and stick to it. What if it takes 5 years instead of 2 years, will that ruin everything you’ve worked for? I’d hope not, sometimes some of the most amazing things take time. Think about your relationships, they took time to build didn’t they?

Remember, as you continue along your path try enjoying the journey rather than dwell on the fact you aren’t where you want to be. You will go mad, I can assure you that. Talk to somebody. A close friend, a therapist, or a colleague, they won’t judge you for admitting your fears, and if they do they were never meant to be in your life in the first place. There is something freeing about admitting you’re not “perfect”, don’t have it all together, and are generally scared that you don’t know when your next paycheck will arrive or when you can even start collecting a salary. It helps to speak out loud, which releases the hold your fear has inside your body, and the vise-grip it has on your mind. It will create space for the “good” stuff and clear away the brain fog.  
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To wrap things up, it’s okay to admit the pain you are going through. It doesn’t make you weak, the only thing that makes you weak is letting the fear force you to keep quiet. The voice in your head that says “don’t admit it, don’t show weakness, don’t admit failure” all of that is fear controlling you. Don’t ruin your life for something superficial. Your loved ones, your body, and your mental health need you. Sketch out what pain you are willing to live with while you are on your journey and talk to someone. Some would say working your “survival” job until your revenue has increased enough to leave it is pain. Or those controllable late nights or early mornings working with clients on the other side of the globe is pain. An accountability partner is a great resource, especially if you’re in the same field. This person may be someone you already know or you can find this person through a Facebook or LinkedIn group, through Meetup.com, or form a relationship with a colleague in your industry. There is less panic when you’ve got someone else in your court, on the same journey, that you can bounce ideas off of, share insecurities, and share successes. So go out there and find an accountability partner, make a friend and steer that entrepreneurial ship with a clear mind. Your life will thank you.

My name is Brandon Miller and I’m a professional voice over artist who has launched my solopreneur career going through many trials and tribulations of my own. The views expressed are through my own experiences as well as years of research on mental health. I don’t claim to be a therapist but I’m always willing to listen and help point people in a helpful direction.